Category Archives: Stoopid


Hi am from western,Nebraska i can see the concearn in this sitution. On one hand you have a old school that could be shutdown and kids would have to be consolidated. this is what happend to our town four years ago. And has not been the same since. Give this a thought there will be no friday night football games in the fall or baseball game’s in the summer. Also this will be good reason for the younger familys that are left in the community to leave cause there is no school there for there children to go to. Then what local businuss you have will start to close up plainly put with no school the town will slowly die off. On the other side of the fence is build a new school and spend allot of tax payers money wich probably is mostly older farmers and ranchers in the area wich have seen there kids go though school allready. And if they build it will it stay open in the next ten years. I would hope it would cause it might let some of existing young to want stay in the town they grew up in where they had wonderfull childhood memorys that they want there kids to have. And possibly take over dads farm or store or open one of there own. What this gets down to is without a shool you will just support the next town that keeps there school open and there business and will have to drive there to get grocerys and other items you use everyday. I hope the town XXXXXX will take the risk of building a school.

There are only 276 words in this comment to an article in our local paper. I think my eyes were bleeding by the 100th and my brain imploded somewhere around word 204.

This poor bastard is living proof of what happens when rural schools are consolidated instead of making major rennovations or building new. Please, PLEASE, don’t let this happen to your community and pay the higher taxes already.


There are days that I get so angry and worked up, I can barely complete a simple task *.

I am angry that I have to consider a job opportunity 30 miles away. Maybe not a big deal to you city dwellers who are accustomed to a two hour commute one way, but this farm girl with a penchant for instant gratification will find the drive an equivalent of water boarding.

I am angry that the people yelping the most about the healthcare reform are those who HAVE healthcare. A (conservative) friend of mine said that the reform will just make those who don’t have insurance (because they are on Medicaid or don’t have a job) more likely NOT to get a job. It’ll “keep e’m lazy”, she said. Hey, that’s just awesome. Thanks for lumping me in with that group. So reward those who are on Medicaid by letting them KEEP Medicaid and let the few like me who don’t qualify for any healthcare without facing bankruptcy suffer for the many. Perfect answer.

I am angry that the people who proclaim their patriotism the loudest are the ones who love to throw around endearing terms like “King Hussein”. I get the whole “freedom of speech gives me carte blanche to spew my verbal diarrhea”, but don’t preach to me how you think this whole country is going in the shitter because of “King Hussein”. It’s going to the shitter because you’re an ignorant, fear-mongering, vitriol-filled, a-hole that does nothing but BITCH to anyone who will listen instead of educating yourself.

In addition to the previous paragraph, I’m angry about the endless and utterly ridiculous comparison of President Obama to Hitler. See both the Rude Pundit’s and Suz’s posts for a couple of succinct and eloquent summarizations.

I am angry that some ignorant woman believes she’ll carry her twelve fetuses to term and give birth to them NATURALLY and that she’ll get to hug them, and squeeze them and call them George, Jr., George III, George IV, etc., etc.. Actually, I’m sure that the healthcare in Tunisia is quite topnotch, especially since it must be an international hub, squeezed there between Algeria and Libya. Anyone else find it unbelievable that the expectant mother claims to be carrying six boys and six girls? I doubt that she’s even beyond 9 weeks, much less far enough along to make out the sex of each baby. I bet Suelman is pissed to be not just one-upped, but four-upped!

I am angry that while a certain Holy Roller Christian Blogger pleaded for forgiveness for stealing content from another More Famous Blogger under the guise of, “I just read her book and her words were so true!”, no one seems to have noticed that Holy Roller stole the words of another Not As Famous Blogger and since now Holy Roller is moderating her comments, her readers are faithfully continuing to follow her and stroking her poor, sweet, innocent head and telling her how wonderful and God-fearing she is and “of course we forgive you as you certainly meant no harm to More Famous Blogger who is siccing her evil minions upon you”… and I want to fucking choke someone. If she stole from two bloggers, she’s stolen from more and no one seems to care.

I am angry because I care that no one cares and that I shouldn’t care. It’s none of my damned business anyway, right?

I am angry that I’ve procrastinated until the very last evening before school starts to write my son’s name on 64 fucking crayons and sharpen 48 fothermucking pencils (oh, and yes, I have to get his name on them, too) and resist the temptation to just shave XBoy’s head bald tonight while he sleeps since there won’t be any time to get it cut according to the school’s policy before Wednesday morning! Not to mention that the yard hasn’t been mowed in three weeks and I am out of diapers. Well, *I’m* not out of diapers; ZGirl is.

* And dammit! Why the hell can’t I get two goddamned paperclips separated?! It’s not brain surgery!

…and so…

Just WHAT exactly are YOU angry about today?


A few weeks ago, I read this news story about a woman whose daughter became a victim of international parental kidnapping 12 long, harrowing years ago in which time she hasn’t seen her little girl since:

Janet Greer can remember with devastating clarity the day that her 3-year-old daughter, Sarah “Dawsha” Elgohary, was supposed to return from a weekend visit with her father. And when Sarah didn’t show, she remembers the exact moment when she realized the child’s father, Greer’s Egyptian ex-boyfriend, had stolen the child away from her.

“Right then, I knew my life was over. I knew he had her. I fell down on the ground. I fell down, because I knew she was gone,” Greer told “Good Morning America” before beginning to cry uncontrollably, just as she had that day. Greer’s ex-boyfriend, Magdy Elgohary, had, without a word, taken the girl to live in Egypt.

She has kept every one of Sarah’s toys but cannot bear to look at them. Her little girl may not even speak English anymore, she said.

“I didn’t see the baby teeth come out. I didn’t see the first day of school. I didn’t do Mother’s Day. Nothing, nothing at all,” she said. “He took that all from me, and he robbed it from her too. He robbed her of her mother.”

It breaks your heart, doesn’t it? If you are a parent, imagine what you would feel if your child was taken from your side and moved to another country where you probably could never see them again. The country’s political system does nothing but throw out red-tape and excuses. They may even cite “what’s best for the child” as a reason to not reunite the mother with her child.

Guess what?

It happens here in the U.S. as well.

Last week the Nebraska Supreme Court ruled that Maria Luis, an illegal immigrant from Guatemala, should not lose custody of her children after she had her rights as a parent terminated when she was deported back to Guatemala in 2005 . . . WITHOUT her children, an infant girl and a then 6 year old boy:

In Luis’ case, the Supreme Court said it was not enough for the state to argue that the children would have fewer opportunities in Guatemala. The state also had to prove that Luis was an unfit parent — a burden the court said the state had not met.

The record showed that the state made no efforts to reunify Maria and the children, largely because the State Department of Health and Human Services “thought the children would be better off staying in the United States,’’ the court said.

“But so long as the parent is capable of providing for the children’s needs, what country the children will live in is not a controlling factor in determining reunification.”

Again, I imagined myself in that situation. My son is 7 and of course ZGirl is still just a baby. After five years, my son might still know me. My daughter? She not only wouldn’t know me, but she certainly wouldn’t be affectionate towards me. She wouldn’t understand me as she would speak a different language. I would miss seeing XBoy grow into a young man. I wouldn’t have experienced my daughter’s first laugh, first steps, learning to skip…just IMAGINE it, that total sense of loss would be perpetuated every day you were apart as well as every day after you were together. These little strangers you had loved all your life who may never love you back.

How could this have happened? The foster system will give every allowance possible to a biological mother and/or father  who breaks every agreement, every promise, even the law, just so that the system can do “what’s best for the child”, which is reunification with the bio parent(s); and yet it was this same system who on their high-and-mighty moral pedestal believing that any third world country’s mother simply could not be better than one of our own born and bred citizens of this United States of America acting as a foster parent.

The state’s argument? the children’s American foster parents could give them a better life than they would have in Guatemala.  

We are so fucking full of ourselves, aren’t we? Somehow automatic lawn sprinklers, disposable diapers and video games trump a the bio mother who fought the State of Nebraska for five years to get them home to be with her and her two older children. And hell yeah, she beat the big boys and will be (if it hasn’t happened already) reunited with her children.

She is said to be ecstatic about their final return, but will her broken heart ever heal after having her children ripped away from her at so young an age for so long? In Echoing Greer’s statement in regards to what her ex-boyfriend did to her, the state and the system’s overinflated by ego robbed these children of their mother. Care to guess who will pay the ultimate price for a county judge’s original ruling – no doubt based on prejudice and little else? It’s sickening and probably no one on behalf of the state learned a damned thing.


mattMatthew, Matthew, Mathew *shaking my head in disappointment*

You are one f-i-n-elooking specimen, but seriously? You. Is. Stoopid.

…And as anyone who’s lost a parent can tell you, when a loved one like that ‘moves on’ – after grieving, one looks for some inspiration from the loss, some lesson to learn, something constructive to take through life in their absence.”

He continued, “For me, it was a few words, that became a sort of a personal mission statement: j.k livin. Where the j is for just, the k is for keep, and there’s no g on livin’, because life is a verb.”

“…there’s no g on livin’, because life is a verb.”

What does that even mean??!

Hey, eyes over here. No matter how hard you stare, the cropped area of that picture is not going to drop.

Whatever you do, Matt, do not stop working out, and maybe, juuuuust maybe, you might want to take a break from the ol’ wacky weed.

meganAnd speaking of having gorgeous genes but limited brain function, I almost gave myself a seizure rolling my eyes after reading this about Megan Fox:

She’s quite happy to discuss drugs, sex and even flatulence but take this example of her discussing her ‘Brian’ tattoo – dedicated to on/off boyfriend Brian Austin Green.

She said: ‘I wouldn’t regret the tattoo if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.’

Megan, where were you after Angelina and Billy Bob broke up??! What a brilliant suggestion! I like the way you think. *winking and tapping finger to forehead*


A final quote from an article on on the latest divorce fiasco with Jon and Kate:

The couple said they would keep the Pennsylvania house they share with their kids – twins Cara and Mady and sextuplets Colin, Hannah, Leah, Joel, Aaden and Alexis – and take turns living there, and take any other measures necessary to minimize the disruption in their children’s lives.

“…take any other measures necessary to minimize the disruption in their children’s lives.”

I’m just guessing here, but I’ll bet that does not include cutting back on their show’s production. Do Jon and Kate really not know who Danny Bonaducci is? That is what the future holds for all eight of those kids.

What a couple of hypocritical narcissists.


Since most of us are pretty tuned into the fertility and infertility stories about the web, I’d say then that you probably have already heard/read about Elizabeth Adeney in Britain who at 66 is 8 months pregnant with her first child after seeking treatment in the Ukraine.

Full story hereor you can google it and find a wealth of blahdeblah stuff.

What I wanted to highlight was the last paragraph of this story; a quote from Dr. Allan Pacey which sums up his feelings about older women getting pregnant:

“Most people feel uncomfortable about the idea of providing fertility treatment to women beyond the natural menopause. In some ways, setting a cut-off point of 50 is arbitrary. But when you combine the welfare of the child, the health of the mother, and, indeed the ‘yuk’ factor of society, I think that is a reasonable place to end up.”

Contrary to what my husband believed when he read the quote, “yuk” refers to the “ick” factor, not the “ha-ha” factor. Obviously, a man who watches too much comedy TV.

So how’s this for Yuk:

Mel Yukson
Mel Yukson

Mel Gibson, who is 53 knocked it out with his girlfriend who is going on four months pregnant just six weeks after the divorce papers were filed. Not just yuk, but let’s add in douchy leper. Freak.

Not yucky enough?

Tony Yukdall
Tony Yukdall

OK. Then there’s Tony Randall, who at 77 became a father for the first time after impregnating his 27 year old wife. For those who worry about older women not seeing their children reach adulthood, Tony’s oldest child was 7 when his dad started farting up dust.

Larry Yuking
Larry Yuking

A younger new dad was found in Larry King when he was only 67. I, however, have added exponentially a yuk factor to that union based on Larry King’s looks alone. Seriously? Who wants to look up at the ceiling’s mirrors and find that troll hunkering between your thighs? *shudder*

Nanu Yukogi
Nanu Yukogi

All these men are just spry young men when you look at the world’s oldest new dad. Nanu (nanu-nanu!) became a new dad at 90 back in 2007 and plans on having more babies with his oldest son’s widow well until he reaches triple digits.

So that yuk factor? Funny how it seems to apply only to women when it comes to making into a news story’s quote.


Did you hear about the woman who had twins, each with a different father? The partner was concerned about the boys not looking like him so he demanded a paternity test, and then when he finds out that ONE of the twins is not his, he’s all, oh hell yeah I’m cool with being their dad I’ve been their dad since they were born.

If he was alright with being their dad, then why did he order the paternity test in the first place??

He’s only cool with it now because the birth makes her some kind of medical freak show marvel and not only the proverbial cash cow, but the literal one as well – at least for a while. And that claim to get married some day? Yeah, right. I won’t be holding my breath. At the rate she’s going, she’ll be on Baby Number 8 (she’s halfway there!), the cash flow from the hoolabaloo will have petered out and, and current partner (Baby Daddy No. 3), won’t be so willing to claim another man’s kid(s) as his own when she’s demanding child support.



This picture is visual proof that somewhere out there is a store that you can go in and get all your baby supplies including the baby. Now, someone please tell me, where the hell is it?


The picture is from an article out of Mail Online, the best source of serious European journalism if ever there was one.

Parents spend £27,500 ($41,000)  on their children before they reach the age of three, it was revealed yesterday.

Two-thirds (£18,000/$26,000) of that amount is spent before the youngsters’ first birthday, according to a study of 3,000 mothers by, a social networking site for new parents.

It found that the costs start piling up even before conception, with many women splashing out on weekends away (17 per cent) and treatments such as acupuncture (13 per cent) to get pregnant.

Expectant mothers then spend an average of £4,000 ($6,000) – including £91.45 ($136) on clothes and £71.79 ($107) on toys – on the unborn baby.

Some 94 per cent of parents also bought their child a Christmas and birthday present in the first year, spending an average of £68.83 ($103) – despite admitting that their baby was far too young to remember the gift.

The high cost of raising children meant 40 per cent of parents said the credit crunch has affected the desire to expand their family.

But Nifa McLaughlin of Gurgle said: ‘There are lots of ways to keep the costs down, from accepting hand-me-downs to making your own baby clothes to knowing where to go for free activities.’

So I go to, register, find tools, and then the baby calculator, which is preceded by this blurb:


Here at gurgle we know that babies cost a lot of money, in fact parenting in general costs a lot of money.

In times of recession and financial crisis parents may have to dig deep into their pockets.

That’s why we’ve created a baby budget calculator to help you to plan ahead and be more financially prepared when it comes to budgeting for baby!

Simply fill out your details below and we’ll work out what you could spend over the first three years of your child’s life.

Cool, huh??

Oh, wait. There’s nothing there. No calculator, no number-cruncher, nada. Just a blank box. Maybe was budget-cutting and cut the calculator tool. The only thing the calculator told me was that if THAT is what they (Gurgle) were basing their “study” on, then Gurgle? THAT is not a study. That’s a bunch of baby-dust snorting and bits-crossing women making up wish lists for their potential oh-em-gee!-we’re-going-to-have-a-BABEEEE! *blargh*

What slays me is this statement, “It found that the costs start piling up even before conception.” How much BEFORE conception are we talking about? I know we wracked up quite an amount before we had XBoy, what with getting married and buying a house. So what if it was three years before his conception? With ZGirl, we plunked down a mere 20% of that $41K FOR her conception. I wonder if they are figuring in the vacations these couples take to “just relax” before they conceive?

On the other hand, I really think they are under-reporting the amount spent on clothes and toys since a stupid bumbo is $35 alone (or does that not count as a toy?).

Let’s get some real information based on REAL women:

  • How much did you spend on trying to get pregnant “naturally” (vacations, massage oils, wine, etc)?
  • How much did you spend on homeopathic remedies (acupuncture, massages, supplements, wine, etc.)?
  • How much did you spend on fertility treatments (office visits, scans, drugs, procedures, wine, etc.)?
  • How much did you spend on disposables (tampons/pads, FREDs, OPKs, wine, etc.)?
  • And finally, for those this applies to, how much did you end up spending on actual baby products (clothes, toys, equipment -no wine since that’s something to call CPS about-, etc.)?

Rough estimates will do. I’m sure I’ll still be able to call it a “study”.


“wait a cunt pinching minute sharpie”

In most cases I can decipher the yoda-speak when it comes to google word searches that eventually show up in my stats. But the example above? That one is going to keep me up all dang night.

(Since the words aren’t mine, it does not go against my lenten goal of not swearing on my blog. Just in case anyone was keeping track. Pru.)


When those  people preach about protecting the “sanctity” of marriage, these are just a few images that come to my mind of some unions that while they fit their  idea of sanctity, they can hardly be exemplified:

Anna Nicole and J. Howard
Anna Nicole and J. Howard
Of course she didn’t marry him for his money. It was because he was such a good kisser, having no teeth and all.
Kimberley and Hugh
Kimberley and Hugh
While these two actually separated in 1999, they are legally still married. Talk about an open marriage.
Lisa and Clark
Lisa and Clark
Sorry, no picture of Clark…since he was ONLY 15! Also? This picture makes her look much younger than her 37 years, doesn’t it?
Liz and Any Eligible Man
Liz and Any Eligible Man
Elizabeth believed so much in the sanctity of marriage that she did it 9 times. Twice to the same guy.
Mickey and Co.
It must be true: women find a sense of humor extremely attractive. That must mean that Mickey had his eight wives laughing all the way to the alter.
Arnolfini and Giovanna
Arnolfini and Giovanna

Shotgun wedding – old school. (Ok, technically, she wasn’t pregnant, but still it happens every day. It’s just that today’s portraits of skinny, creepy dudes and their 9 1/2 month pregnant soon-to-be wives are captured via polaraid cameras left scattered about on hay bales and the groom is wearing camo.

P.S. I don’t know ‘brentwillie’ but he had a nice collection of redneck wedding photos for your viewing pleasure.


The other day after I exited a store, I was walking to my car. It was parked on the far side of a pick-up truck (grey silverado, 4 door, Knox county, Nebraska) that the customer preceding me climbed into and started.

As I got closer, the back-up lamps came on as he put his Redneck Mobile into reverse.

He turned to look behind him. I was now directly in his line of vision. He applied pressure to the gas peddle and his Silver-sackless Truck slowly started to move.

While he was looking right at me now glaring at him!

I continued to glare while mouthing, “I’m walking here!”

I didn’t falter or slow my steps.

We continued to stare down each other until I reached my car door and inserted the keys. He had now backed completely out his stall.

I sat down behind the wheel and shut my door. I heard a honk. I looked over and there was Dickless giving me the finger. Without hesitating I returned the favor and even added “Fuck you!” to the exchange.

What a chickenshit. This guy had to wait until he and his limp dick were safely instead his truck and moving before “engaging” me in some unjustified road rage? In a word, the guy was Douche-arrific.

For me, I was pretty proud of the fact that even with sunglasses on, I had given that guy a complete mind fuck as well as a mental ball flogging.

Do not doubt the power of My Glare!

Blog T-Shirt
Blog T-Shirt
Buy this product at CafePress
Designed by Moosie Merchandise

Geohde, maybe you can use this at your next Mother’s Group meeting.


Have you seen Paltrow’s new website? A word to the wise: don’t bother clicking on any of the icons. Explanation at the end.

GOOP. You know? Like the hand cleaner your art teacher kept in the classroom? Since Gwynie snagged, it makes me wonder if she actually made a ridiculous offer for the domain name and then the original goopers went and got instead.

Last night I started to think about Gwyneth Paltrow and her movie stardom. Aaaaand then I was like what movie stardom? The only movie I could remember her in was The Royal Tenenbaums, which as a film, I really enjoyed. From there? Sure she recently was in Iron Man as the very dry, very uninspiring, almost-love-interest of Tony Stark. But didn’t she win an Oscar for something? Remember? It was the year she wore this pink dress that was three sizes too big for her? 1999, to be exact – almost 10 years ago!

toobigIf my mother had been on the red carpet, I’m sure she would have tootled right up to her and pinched up those spaghetti straps and secured them with a couple of the safety pins that she would have had conveniently pinned to the front of her shirt. What? Your Mom didn’t do that? Hell, my mom even keeps a kleenex tucked into the cuff of her shirt sleeve.

Maybe her fame is perpetuated solely on the fact she gave both of her children rather unusual names (Apple and Moses), which seems to be the the last pathetic attempt made by many once-popular-but-now-meh stars out there right now.

So what is this wonderful website about? Well…if you haven’t read any of the buzz and you only clicked on the site, you wouldn’t have a clue. For some reason, it’s tagged “Nourish the Inner Aspect”, which is so trite and obtuse it could mean she is either going to provide recipes or yoga instructions. Ha! The joke is on me since if you click on the newsletter sign-up icon, she’ll send you her recipes! or her personal travel notes! Oh, what shall I do if I don’t know what Ms. Paltrow is doing? (By the way, if you click on the “get the scoop”? It’s the same damn thing, a link to her newsletter sign up.) (and who wants to get a scoop of goop? yuck)

As for the quaint icons that might make you think that she can tell you what fabulous things to eat! or travel destinations that appear to be family friendly! or where to buy that pink frock, which actually may come in your size! They are all linked to one thing: a three paragraph blurb that ends with, “Don’t be lazy. Workout and stick with it. GOOP. Make it great.”

Somehow, she turned the name of a hand cleaner into an action statement which absolutely makes no sense. What does it mean?!

If I had to guess? Gwyneth’s Own Ostensive Perspective. Because somehow she makes us think that we care how UNfabulous her life really is.


Guess what we did for “Day of the Dead” (Sunday, November 2nd), or if you prefer, “All Souls’ Day”? We decided to baptize ZGirl. I found it fitting, actually. A strange sense of irony since her christening also marked ZGirl’s official first year of life, if you go by McCain/Palin and the ever progressive (*sarcasm*) Catholic church. Yep, Miss H. was busy working on becoming an embryo this time a year ago. She’s changed so much since then. You know, by getting fingers, toes, a heart and a rather productive digestive system, and all that stuff that makes her an eating, sleeping and pooping machine.

So, uh, yeah. About the political reference. Let me explain. We of course put on the show of being good Catholics by going to Mass prior to her scheduled baptism. That’s when Father used the Homily time to recite the letter from the Omaha Archdiosece Archbishop Elden Curtiss regarding the 2008 Election.

Now of course Curtiss doesn’t specifically  name either candidate or party, but the message is quite clear, and in not so few words, “Down with that heretic, Obama!”. Here is the link to the letter itself, if you would like to read it.

He writes,

There are many serious issues at stake in this election, but none is more important than abortion.

I beg to differ. Hello? Has Curtiss so firmly shoved his head into his mitre that he has failed to take note of the economy? Or hey! Howz about that little “skirmish” over there in Iraq, which some are melodramatically calling a “war”? Pffft. *wave of hand* Those? They are immaterial issues, dear ladies and gentlemen.

He continues,

Almost 50 million babies have been aborted in the United States since 1973, an unfathomable loss of human life that increases by more than a million every year.

Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Curtiss?

I think your researcher needs to attend confession and request absolution for telling a big fat lie to not only you, the Archbishop, but to thousands of parishioners. According to this chart, not only is the rate of abortions in the U.S. decreasing, and has been since 1990, but in the 35 years since abortion has been legal there has never  been an increase by a million in any  year. In fact, according to this table, even if I use estimated number of abortions (which is higher than reported), the largest increase in any one year was just shy of 154,000…in 1974. If you were to figure a million exponentially (using the Curtiss method of ‘rithmatic), that comes out to roughly 560,000,000. Not to be picky but obviously the numbers don’t jive.

Lastly, this line, stuck in my head,

Our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, has stated with clarity that Catholics who vote for a candidate precisely because he or she supports abortion and/or euthanasia would be guilty of formal cooperation in evil.

I would have to sincerely hope that anyone who has the privilege of being able to vote in this, or any election, would consider any candidate on his or her issues in their entirety, not because of any one “little” issue; and if they didn’t, then they should burn for eternity for just being stupid and narrow-minded.

Except of course, when it suits their most Holinesses.


What in the hell is that?!

Yes, I know. It’s a toilet, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Come, look closer…

With my incredible deducing abilities, I have…well…deduced, that those scuff marks are from someone’s shoe when that someone lifted his/her foot to flush the toilet instead of using their hand.

Now I more than anyone appreciate the desire not to touch anything that could even remotely be covered in poo or pee, but um, don’t you wash your hands AFTER you go to the bathroom?

I bet this is the same kind of person who not only did NOT wash their hands, but then went ahead and turned the knob of the door to exit the bathroom (since there is no window to shimmy through) because it would take monkey toes to open the door using its knob. And wouldn’t trying to get out of your socks and shoes to display said monkey toes be kind of a pain in the ass? 

While I may grimace each time I touch a toilet handle, nothing takes care of my fear of grossness like a good soapy hand wash followed by a very anal use of a disposable towel acting as a papery condom between my newly clean hand and a scurvy bathroom door handle. Knowing that, don’t even ask me how I feel about bathrooms that use JUST the air dryers. I go faint just thinking about it.

Thank god for hand sanitizer and wipes.