Category Archives: Tecknokalities

No. 240 – Behold!

Since many of you caught me with my pants down (joining the ranks of my OB/GYN and RE and husband…and maybe just one or two old boyfriends…), and I had nothing but excuses to reply back to you with, I have worked my fingers to the nubs and my sidebar links are done!

For now…as far as I can tell.

And being slightly OC, I have many of the links cross-referenced in a little file I have so you may find that some of the links are listed more than once. For example, Another Child is under Sparring Partners, Adoption, Veni (Parenting), SIF and Infertility because the site frequently covers these topics.

So instead of just 110+ links, which is about what I read, there are nearly 150 links over there.

Now that I have effectively caused myself to go cross-eyed, and to have caused your stats to look as if I am stalking you in one-second intervals, I can go rest a while…until someone goes and has another baby. July has been a rocking month, hasn’t it?

Anyhoo, as you will see, there is Sparring Partners, which are sites I occasionally write for; SIF Sisters: well that goes without saying. Veni, Vidi, Vinci! is for those writers who cover parenting; Adoption & Accolades are those who are or have, adopted. Infertility: Just a State of Uterus is for those beautiful men and women who are doing the damnedest to make it happen; and then there’s Knocked Down…and Then Knocked UP! which is going to give me the most work keeping that thing updated (note that once you are on there, you cannot be taken off until you have written a beautiful birth story); and finally, a break from all the estrogen and progesterone, He Laughed, She Cried, I Peed My Pants is a lovely (relatively speaking) group of people who write some great stuff. Actually, everyone should be cross-referenced to here, but I had to limit it to those who don’t talk about The Bits any more than a normal person.

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Oohh! Guess what? Someone did just deliver another Babeeee! When I started blogging, she was one of the first to find me AND comment. She has been a consistent supportive voice for almost a year now. Well, the lovely Cat has delivered her little boy! I "gHOSTed" for her over at her site. Stop on by and boggle at the idea that someone actually has been reading my crap for almost a year now!

no. 239 – Error, Error, Abort!

You may be able to read this via bloglines, but not if you click on the link. Some of you may be getting a "Internet Explorer cannot open the internet connection, blah, blah, blah…..Operation Aborted".

If so, I’m sorry, but it’s nothing I did, but I am working on rectifying it as it makes it difficult go to my faves as well and post comments. So if you wrote something recently and it seemed like something I would remark on, take that to mean I can’t get to your site because some bastard decided to abort my operation!

Why, PC, do you have be a curse and a blessing, but mostly a curse, on my poor little mushy brain cells?

If you know how to crack this stupid error over the head, but can’t comment here, email me at ddknockedup at yahoo dot com.

(I am so having something very alcoholic tonight when I get home. CD1 today! Whoopee.)

no. 238 – ‘Scuze Me While I Rant A While

Troll Remember that post I had about "How to Blog" ? Since the whole post drifted into a tangent, it typically got a little away from me. I didn’t have time or energy add something else that was on my mind when it came to blogging and quite frankly, I forgot about it until today.

I read quite a few blogs. Some, I’ve been reading since the beginning of time (my time, August 2005). I comment on these blogs regularly, the Comment Slut that I am. I always get a little hitch in my step when I see my blog’s link in the side-bar, even if it’s my old Knocked Up…Then Knocked Down site. Why then do I feel just a little let down when on other sites that I visit frequently; comment on; and generally thought that there was some personal rapport outside of just blogging, that I’m not part of their links? Especially when I notice blogs who have started up much more recently that we both read have been added. So I know it’s not because they haven’t updated in a while (for those of you who update once every eon, you’ve been granted immunity from my passive-aggressive rant).

Actually, this takes me back to high school: "Ohmygawd, DD, you did a great job designing the cover of the Year Book, you are soo-oo-o incredibly talented (Yeah. I’m elaborating here. It’s for effect.). How long did it take you? Where did you get your ideas? Like, you should so be a famous artist. Thanks for making the Year Book soo-oo-o special." All this as they hug their Year Book tightly to their stuffed bra chest and turn with a flip of their cheerleading skirt to get the kid the end of the hall to sign it, even though I’m standing right there, troll-doll pen in hand, murmuring thank-you to a now-receding cloud of Charlie perfume.

It feels like that.

Maybe I’m way off base. Maybe I shouldn’t care as much who does or who doesn’t have my site as a link, but it’s hard not to take personally when my blog is about as personal as it gets. I guess this has given me the additional inspiration that I make sure that everyone I have on my bloglines is on my side-bar. And if after I get all done, you notice you’re not there, I want you to do me a favor: call me on it via email or comment. I’ll be the first one to eat humble pie.

. . . Like, did someone just say "pie"? Ohmygawd, gag me with a spoon . . .

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Gah. The more I think about this post, the more I wish I would just delete it, but I won’t. I don’t want a bunch of you getting all paranoid. If you are feeling paranoid, then it probably doesn’t apply to you because I’m thinking the people I would wish would get this won’t. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I love you, anyway. Once again, gah!

No. 228 – Blogging Etiquette

The blogging phenomena seems to be centered around the idea of reciprocating. If one of the half dozen blogs I was reading in my blogging infancy provided a link to another blog directing support for someone facing a failing pregnancy; a BFN after an IVF; or even citing a great post, I went to check it out. I would add them to my growing list of favorites. In that course of time, I not only picked up several infertility blogs, but some wonderfully cooterless blogs as well.

Once I started getting into a groove, as it were, and felt brave enough to add a comment, I found in many instances that either the site owner would acknowledge me by replying in an email or by visiting my site. If they felt sorry enough for my pathetic attempts at writing, they would start to hang out regularly. Sometimes I would read someone’s comment and link back to them and find myself another blog to read. We’ve all done it. But that’s the whole point of blogging. It’s finding someone who writes about something we can find relevant. Someone who "gets it". And sometimes, it can provide a springboard to a separate post (or as I call it, "hitch-hiking").

Recently that happened to me after reading a post by Schmutzie over at milkmoney or not, here I come. She referred to Tony Pierce’s post on How to Blog. It started my own brain juice a’cookin’, but I never got further than just thinking about it (#15 in the How To), especially not as any more than just a filler (aka foo-foo) piece since I seem to be just treading water here at TKO, trying to find my rhythm.

But then, something happened. Now, I’m not really too surprised, and quite frankly, I’m to blame. I gave out my site address a year ago to friends and family because I really wanted to know someone, anyone, was reading. I also did it because I figured it wouldn’t matter 12 months down the road. I foolishly thought I was going be one of those women who would get pregnant after the first IUI with a boy/girl set of twins and deliver them without incident in February. I actually thought it was a damn shame to set up a blog only to never write in it.

Now you would think after I fucked up the first time (see Tony’s How To # 5), and had to move to a new URL, you’d think I’d know better. But I let the stress of the infertility treatments really get to me and the daily retelling to my co-workers of how my clinic visits went wore me down. So I gave my site address to a couple of those people and hoped that would help keep everyone abreast of any of the potentially good (but eventually bad) news.

By the time my 2nd IVF officially hit the crapper, I honestly thought no one In Real Life (IRL) was still reading. I assumed that the daily dose of woe and misery was getting to them as well because my stats did not indicate anyone from Small Town was reading. I didn’t give it a second thought and instead of checking my stats hourly like I use to in the beginning, I stopped checking them at all. I had my niche and I enjoyed my little corner of the blogging community and felt at ease with those who routinely stopped by to offer support, suggestions and rude comments about how much younger they were than me. And that’s my point exactly. You who don’t know me from the crazy bitch who ran their shopping cart into the back of your leg at the grocery store, know me well enough that you can write those comments knowing I will take it in the spirit it was intended. You know me through my blog, and that’s it. That’s pretty goddamn powerful.

No matter where we go with our blogging (whether we write or read), there’s just some unwritten understanding that we acknowledge each other’s accomplishments, losses, brilliance and even their ignorance. No where would I expect that more than in my real life. That’s why when I found out that the people I work with were reading my blog, I was initially aghast. There was not one inkling. Not one word was breathed…to me. Instead I find that the things I have written are discussed and reviewed out of earshot.

Sure my blog is out there for the world to read, but because it’s by virtual strangers I’ve let our inhibitions fall the wayside so I can express those demons that can eat us alive. But when someone you know finds it without your knowledge, it’s as if you left your diary out. Leaving that diary is not an open invitation. And it certainly isn’t a vehicle to use to to approach other people with the information that is read here.

I guess I wouldn’t be as concerned if the people reading were doing so because they were facing infertility (or even just difficulty in conceiving); or had suffered through a miscarriage; or even looking for a reference on how NOT to raise a preschooler, but it just doesn’t seem to have that purpose for these people. It’s an act of voyeurism. One that I would appreciate if it was discontinued. If that’s not possible, then I just ask you remain respectful to what I write here. It’s private. It’s from my gut. It’s from my heart. Getting upset about what you read is OK, just bring it to my attention and we can discuss it further.

So, I will not be going password protected. My initial knee-jerk reaction was to do so. But then once I thought about it and your comments echoed my sentiments, I realized that there are many more readers who appreciate, or at least understand, what it is that I am trying to do with this blog than those who don’t. Ideally, I would like EVERYONE to be happy, but that will realistically never happen. That’s why my main concern is me. I guess if I’m the one paying the bill on this blog, it might as well be what I want to write. Right?

No. 210 – By Jove…

…I think I’ve got it!

I added outside code to typepad! And it’s all because of the most glorious Queen of Silver Shoes, Nina over at Stella and/or Ben! Much rejoicing! Much air kisses across the pond! Mwah – mwah!

And just one more exclamation point because there’s nothing like redundancy to create cohesiveness in a spur of the moment post!

(!!!!!)

No. 196 – Blogger vs TypePad

I finally have some time to address the questions and comments from No. 195. I decided to change the name from Knocked Up …Then Knocked Down for a couple of reasons.

1) Under my current circumstances, getting knocked up is about as likely as Britney Spears becoming a poster child for Pro-Choice, so now I feel like calling myself Technically Knocked Out (TKO) a more fitting title (there’s a little blip about that in my "About Me" link); and

2) I didn’t realize it when I made my choice on Blogger to call it Knocked Up that there was another blogger who had a very similar title. Once I found out, it totally bugged me that someone may have thought I was hitchhiking on her. Switching sites gave me an excuse to change the name.

I don’t know what to tell you about updating your bloglines/blogrolls. I think it would be safe to go ahead and add this site under the new name to both for those who maintain those lists. I’m struggling with my own identity crisis because when I comment on blogger sites now, I have to remember to change the default, which links to Knocked Up. It’ll still show as DD, but it should link to here. Another source of ID issues lie with TypePad’s comments. Before I made the change, when I was logged into TypePad, it was listing my full, real name; something I’m not ready to give out on a day-to-day basis so I had to make some changes there. Some of you may see me post as "DD" or even "DD TKO". Let’s just say, making the switch is not as easy as someone with more than two brain cells to rub together make it look.

I have eliminated the weird verification thingy with the comments. I guess if I was to ever have a troll come out from under the bridge, I can rethink that option. I hate change. Let’s just make that clear, so this has not necessarily been a fun adventure.

Now for the pros/cons:

1. Blogger is free. Typepad is not, even for the basic layout, which is what I have signed up for. I would have thought that when one is paying for a service that with someone else is free, I would get more goodies. That’s not necessarily been true.

2. I had to kiss my skanky weather pixie good-bye. The whore was wearing a freakin’ bikini today and it probably is best I get rid of her. I don’t need cartoon-envy on top of my other quirks. But this also means that I’m leaving my guestmap; site meters; and specialized codes behind because with basic Typepad you don’t have access to the HTML template. I will also regret that I won’t be able to do more minipolls at this time unless I do them through my Blogger site.

3. Publishing is a little different. Blogger had an option to have your posts sent to your email account; Typepad does not. But, after reading and re-reading the instructions I was able to figure out how to move all of my posts from Blogger to Typepad (but it looks like I hosed something in my Blogger template as my archives are now gone). Since I don’t know what the long haul will bring, I will have to copy and paste my Typepad posts to Blogger if I want to keep it current.

4. Comments. One of the nicest options with Typepad is once a comment has been posted, it comes to my email account with the post’s title as reference (which took me three attempts in changing my configuration to make it stick!), instead of just the blog’s title from Blogger. For me that appeals to my sense of organization.

5. Hiccups, Blips and Downtime. I’ve only noticed TypePad having site issues a couple of times since I’ve been blogging. However, it seems like Blogger is constantly rejecting access to sites; whether it was me trying to log on or you trying to post a comment. Sure Blogger is free, but when you can’t use it, it becomes worthless. Free and worthless should never refer to the same thing.

Egad, was there ever a more boring post?! Please feel free to comment about your likes/dislikes about TypePad or Blogger based on your personal experiences; or to plug the current product you are using if it’s neither of these.

I’ve realized something quite amazing with this change: I now know I have good friends when they can call me every name in the book and yet appreciate that you are using them as endearments. It’s like being personally called an Asshole by Tertia. Also, you can all rest assured that things between Mr. DD and I are quite well. More on that next time.

No. 195 – Trial Separation

I’ve been on the fence about my current relationship, and I think it’s time for a trial separation. It’s not that I’m terribly unhappy, but I just think I could do a little better. You’ve seen the writing on the wall, so there shouldn’t be any mouths agape out there. Maybe I won’t be happy and I will want to come back to what I’m accustomed to, but right now I need to know if there’s something better. In fact, I’ve had something in the wings now for the past week and I have been dying to tell you all about it.

I told Mr. DD this weekend. He just shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching TV.

Oh, and I want you all to be a part of it. Really! I want to thank Beth at Prop Your Hips Up who really inspired me to take the leap.

…and in case you were worried, it’s not my husband I’m leaving; it’s Blogger. I have set up a fun-factory over at typepad and will see what I think at the end of the trial month. Now, for your viewing and reading pleasure (I use the word "pleasure" loosely), stop by tko.typepad.com and let me know what you think. I’m already digging the much shorter URL address! And be honest, dammit. I’m not going to spend what I can on mochas in a month for a site you think sucks. I need my caffeine!