A (God)Blessit! Event

My son’s First Holy Communion was this past weekend. We did get him a gift (a crucifix that he himself picked out that probably cost me an arm and half a leg but have no idea since I had a sizeable credit at the jewelry store and didn’t ask). We did put him in a suit, complete with an adult tie I had altered to his size because all the children’s’ ties I could find locally sucked. We did have a party where notably absent was his Godmother *, but present were a couple of friends of my SIL who happened to be in town so my SIL invited them along…uh…sure…I guess they can join you even though they don’t know Doodicus from a stain on the floor.

Actually, the entirety of the weekend seemed to be consumed by this one 90 minute event because Saturday the school scheduled full dress rehearsal and pictures at 8:30 a.m. Yes, in the morning. Thank you baby Jesus for letting me go through this the first time with a boy. My friend, a hairdresser, had at least two girls scheduled prior to dress rehearsal to get their hair done up. Before 8:30 a.m.! (Note to self: really talk up the wonders of a pixie cut to my daughter in six years.)

Of course, I was running slightly behind Saturday morning because I couldn’t find his dress shoes that I had bought months ago and stored somewhere safe so I was driving hell bent for leather into town. Just as I was coming around the bend, my soccer-mom senses started tingling, but it was too late. The city cop already had his patrol car in gear waiting for me to pass. I swore. (Yes, I said Fuck. Out loud. While my son was in the backseat on his way to his 1st Holy Communion dress rehearsal, wearing a tie and suit. A memory to be sure.)

Since I was barely running on time, thanks to my Mario Andretti tendencies, I wasn’t going to let a speeding ticket put me behind. My exit was coming up. I turned down the street. Cop just then turns on his lights. I continue down the street to my next turn. I turn, and turn again. I pull into the rear parking lot of the church – still with the patrol car following patiently behind. I threw the van into park, told my son to run up to where they were supposed to meet; handed him his jacket for his suit; and instructed him to RUN! because goddammit! I just ignored a cop trying to pull me over to get him there on time!

It was wishful thinking on my part to hope for a warning. While my ticket was $132, it could have been considerably worse because:

1)      I was speeding in a construction zone (63 in a 50);

2)      I didn’t have my registration on me **;

3)      And my tags were expired **

Sparring Partner was pissed. Also, I’ve had to complete several forms in my various job applications about the status of my driver’s license, which has been accident and ticket free for years. So now that’s been shot to shit.

The thing is, we weren’t THAT late. It’s not like they would have told him he couldn’t participate. Totally not worth it. That $132 would have certainly been better spent on a botox treatment or my trip to Boston or some new shoes.

When was your last traffic ticket and what did you do to “earn” it?

* I wasn’t planning on this post being about traffic violations, but more about the Godmother situation, but that’ll wait.

** Sparring Partner had earlier in the week taken the registration out of my car to take to the County Treasurer to get my new tags. The new tags and the registration were at home.

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13 thoughts on “A (God)Blessit! Event”

  1. Luckily, my last speeding ticket was in North Dakota. I say luckily because despite going 70 in a 55 in a CONSTRUCTION ZONE, it cost me $40. $40! This was some 10 years ago, so it may have gone up since then. However, if you ever feel like speeding, head up north.

  2. The last one was in 03. I was working at the casino and got a ticket on my way to work for doing 10 over. I was doing at least 20 over, but when I looked at the cop and “This is a 1986 Ford Bronco, do you REALLY think it could hit 80 going up a hill?” (It totally could… Ben had an AWESOME engine.) I beat the no proof of insurance part because my car had been broken into maybe 2 – 3 weeks earlier and I called it in to the police station. Just to report it, not that I expected anything. The thief (stole my tent and some food) had thrown crap all around inside the car and when I was cleaning it out I think I probably chucked my proof of ins. When I told the cop what happened he said “I”m sure they didn’t break into your car just to steal your insurance.” But he went back to his car and was gone for what felt like forever and then came back and let me off on that part. I deferred the ticket and as long as I didn’t get another it went away. I’m sure I’ll get one here in Fort Worth sometime. The drivers here are a little bit crazy.

  3. I’ve had one traffic ticket ever – I was 19 and had only had my licence for about 6 months, I was taking my mother’s car to be repaired, and as I turned the corner (at 2mph) into the garage I swiped another car. I did not feel much and thought I’d hit the curb; I was also STILL so close to the car I had hit that I reckoned if I had really hit it, I’d see someone ranting. So I just left the car at the garage.

    The car was pretty beaten up which explains why we didn’t see the paint chips on the side; it turns out I did hit the other car and I got a ticket for “leaving the scene of an accident”. The local police where I was a student came to see me. They were highly amused and said frankly they wouldn’t bother if it was on their beat. But I got points on my licence and a fine (can’t remember how much).

    Frankly, it was less of an incident than when I ran into a pole in a car park 6 months later. It was a minor scrape – maybe it damaged the wing mirror. We have no idea whose car it was or why they didn’t just flippin’ walk through the entrance of the garage and say “hey, small, inoffensive and scruffily dressed teenage girl, you just scraped my car!”

  4. Nov 5th – just six months ago.

    My BFF’s husband walked out on her on the 4th (that is why I know the exact date). I had driven all night from Arkansas to Virginia with a 13 month old cranky child. It was about 8 in the morning and I was less than 20 minutes from my parents’ house. It was all I could do to get there ALREADY…he got me coming up over a hill while I was passing a jackass who kept pacing me. I’m not sure they didn’t plant that asshole just for that purpose!

    Before that, my last (and only) ticked was 1998 – prom night.

  5. Never had one – touch wood – but thats mainly cos I dont drive much being a big city gal – public transport or walking is how we tend to get about and the husband does most of the driving.

  6. Am I totally wrong, or can’t you go to driving diversion class to rid yourself of the ticket, go to court to show you’ve got the registration, etc & then be able to honestly write on applications that you have a clean record?

    I know someone in my family, NOT ME, who has been able to do the class & avoid the ticket more than a few times in the many years we’ve been married. It is limited to a certain number of avoidances per few years, so maybe you’ve already used your allowance?

  7. Let’s see, my last ticket was in Indianapolis 3 years ago. I was speeding home, even though I had SEEN the speed trap on my way there! Indiana sucks.

    I last got pulled over December 26, as I was speeding to my mom’s house. I was going 81 in a 65, because I wanted to get there before it REALLY started snowing (heh…it wasn’t actually snowing yet – just a few flurries). The trooper reduced my speed to 74 and gave me a warning. Then he said “You know, the warnings go on the computer, so if you get pulled over again (I had another 200 miles or so to go), the trooper will see it. I hope he won’t be as lenient as I am.”

    Indiana sucks because they totally dismissed the fact that I work in law enforcement, because I’m not a trooper. Our troopers rock because they let me go with lectures! Also, the cops in my town rock, because the last guy who pulled me over tore up the ticket after he found out I worked in the crime lab. He also just gave me a warning.

    Sorry you got a ticket…that sucks.

  8. I’ve only been pulled over twice. Once by Joe to find out what I was making for dinner. The 2nd was bs. Said I rolled a stop sign. There were kids riding bikes in the middle of the street & I know I stopped just for that reason. He let me off with a warning when he saw my last name on the drivers license. All the local cops know each other.

  9. Dude! The cop didn’t give you a free pass on you way for your son to commune with Jesus?!?

    What is the world coming to. Note to self this time next year when D. makes his first holy communion…. don’t piss off a cop. lol

  10. They call me leadfoot.. because I have a lead foot.. when I’m driving. We live in an area where we have the RCMP patrolling the highways, and MPs on the base and city cops as well- and somehow, I never seem to get pulled over. Or at least I HADN’T until I went out of town for a weekend with our vehicle bearing Veteran’s plates. Apparently small-town cops have a hate-on for military personnel because in this scenario there should have been at least FOUR people in front of me pulled over first. But no… ohhhh no… just me. And I ate a $250 ticket. (speeding is muchos frowned upon up here… 10 over the limit gets you spanked- HARD- like, $250 hard!!)

    In over 10 years of driving that was my first ticket… I’ve gotten two more since then… one for a ridiculous accident that was no way in hell my fault… and another speeding violation- AGAIN when I went a-visiting in small-town bumf**** nowhere. Actually tried to fight the second speeding ticket (on account of the fact that I wasn’t speeding)…. welcome to epic fail when the damn judge greets the cop who nailed you by first name and inquires after how her mother’s doing…. yeah… I hate small-town [insert name of province where I live here].

  11. My last ticket was for not stopping at a stop sign. I picked my son up from school and guess that I rolled through a stop sign nearby and pulled out right in front of a cop. I am not sure how he saw me roll given he was supposedly driving and he wasn’t that close when I pulled out, but whatever. I think I said something bad about the cop and had to backtrack when my son told me it wasn’t nice and that we liked cops. I ended up paying my fee and doing deferred adjudication (no tickets for 6 months and then it is totally off your record).

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