OCTOPUSSY

I would like to officially thank Nadya Suleman and her “doctor” for giving reproductive endocrinology, and all associated artificial reproductive therapies, a bad name. Or should I say, an even worse name.

Rest assured that her actions and decisions, and the actions and decisions made by her “doctor”, will significantly impact ART in the immediate future for all state-side REs, and unfortunately, their patients who are probably all just a tad less psychotic. Yes, I do think Nadya is psychologically deficient.

Nadya?

You SUCK.

Big time.

PREPUBESCENT DRUG DEALERS

Mr. DD is making supper and XBoy is playing with ZGirl. This is one of many yet to come posts pounded out in a hurry.

The other day, I pulled a mint out of my pocket and popped it in my mouth. XBoy asked me if it’s a kind he might like or if it’s “hot” (spearmint). I said he could try it if he wants, but yes it might seem “hot”.

He told me no thanks and that he prefers gum. Nicorette gum.

*double take*

“Do you mean peppermint,” I asked.

“No,” he said, “nicorette.”

I tried to keep my tone calm because I know if I start to freak out, he’ll sense that he might be in trouble and clam up.

“Where have you heard of nicorrete? On TV? School or daycare?”

“TV,” he replies, pauses, and then adds, “and day care.”

“Did one of the kids bring nicorette gum to day care?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he ask you if you wanted a piece?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you take one?”

“Nah. It was cinnamon and I don’t like that kind.”

After a couple more questions I found out who the kids were and made a note to mention it to the Director. The boys are in the 10 year old range and one has been in a lot of trouble and in fact his parents were asked to find another care provider for him.

You know that if you talk to kids about drugs, you cover alcohol, cigarettes, pot, etc. Would you have ever thought that you needed to talk to the kids in your life about goddamn gum?! It certainly never occurred to me.

HALF OF THIS AND SIX OF THAT

Pharmacist vs. Physician.

Ok, here’s the poop.

First of all, it had nothing to do with a medication that is to be taken at night or day or with food or without food. I used that example because I didn’t want to give specifics since your responses might be less partial.

We have started XBoy on ADHD meds.

There. I said it.

You have no idea how we agonized over the decision, including whether or not we should have waited or started it sooner.

We followed a course that led us to making what we now believe was the best choice for him, which started with seeing the pediatrician, a counselor, a psychologist, teachers, and principal and yet another pediatrician. He had counseling. We had counseling. He had testing.

We tried punishments, rewards systems, fish oil. We did not try diet modification as we cannot realistically maintain a particular diet for a child who spends a majority of the day NOT in our home.

And so, we are here. Treating a child with stimulants to help him focus. To help him excel in school work. To help him create and sustain friendships with his peers.

There’s more. So much more…but I myself am drained of energy and motivation and only now, with just a few minutes before I must go to pick up ZGirl from daycare, do I allow myself to elaborate more on why I think pharmacists are a royal pain in my ass.

The second pediatrician we saw specializes in behavioral issues. He examined the reports by the psychologist and LMHP. He talked with XBoy. He talked with me. He did not talk TO us, and for that I was incredibly appreciative. He recommended that XBoy start The Patch (which reminds me of another story I must share with you).

He specifically  said to cut the patch in half . When my husband went to pick up the script, the pharmacist specifically  said NOT to cut the patch in half; however, she did say it was OK to remove half the backing and apply.

Think about that for a moment and tell me if that makes any bit of sense at all.

When I googled it (of course I did before I did anything else), I realized why the pharmacist may have thought she was giving Mr. DD good info. It’s because she thought the patches still looked like this:

daytrana-old

But in fact, they have since altered the design and now they look more like this:

daytrana-new

As you can see, the old design was more like a bandaid: adhesive on the outside, med in the middle. You cut that and well, yes, you alter the delivery. The new version is in fact designed so that the med is actually embedded into the adhesive from edge to edge. Cutting the first one in half could actually cause “leeching” (which, again, would then make no sense to only remove half the barrier).

My husband took the side of the pharmacist. I obviously, did not. Now if the doctor did not specifically say we could cut it in half, I would have followed the pharmacist’s instructions. I even mentioned this to our regular pediatrician who said quite bluntly that it’s all a matter of money. 10 – 20mg patches are cheaper than 20 – 10mg patches.

Of course.

Then to top it off? My husband, who then had to return to the pharmacist a couple days later to pick up ZGirl’s script for her ear infection did not ask, nor was reminded, to add flavoring. Therefore, the next day, after I had given one dose to ZGirl, I had returned to the pharmacist to have them add the flavoring, I was told that there was no way for them to calculate how much flavoring to now add since I had already used some.

Me? Not happy. At all.

Seriously. Simple algebra would have solved that problem. Rx mg – %mg = Flvr mg – %mg. Duh.

Speaking of which, do you think that when X-amount of medicine is to be distributed they take into account that a baby will spit out approximately 50% after they’ve fooled you into thinking they swallowed so you move the wash cloth away from their face? Because I’m pretty sure that at least that much has ended up on my face, clothes, carpet and sleepers. And that shit doesn’t wash out.

HAIR-UM SCARE-UM

In passing, I mentioned that I was cutting off all my hair. I stuck by my vow and last Saturday the deed was done. Since Monday was the first public day of showing it off, which was the day I was shit-canned, I had started to wonder if I had Samson-ized myself. Ridiculous, I know, but hey, how many of you wore your lucky socks/underwear/charm/etc. to your RE’s? Same, but different.

So here we have me in the weeks before:

*BEFORE*
*BEFORE*

 

And now (I’m the one on the right…just in case you were wondering):

*AFTER*
*AFTER*

 (I really should see a specialist about the weird facial tics I’ve been having, don’t you think?)

Actually, here’s a better shot:

*AFTER w/o STUPID EXPRESSION*
*AFTER w/o STUPID EXPRESSION*
I have to say, the haircut makes me feel all kinds of sassafras. I’m digging it. Except in the morning since sleeping on a head full of hair paste makes me look a bit Kramer in the morning. It ain’t purty, let me tell you.

THROW ME ONE

Dear Karma,

While I’m not quite sure what to think yet about the job loss, I can say without a doubt that after my daughter’s acquisition of not only a double ear infection, but now bronchiolitis and RSV per the ER physician’s confirmation this morning in response to my baby’s inability to breath, you seriously fucking owe me one.

Yours only out of spite,

Without A’bone