That would be how my follow-up beta could be described. Not stellar. Not an inevitable crash.
Just adequate.
As you know, my first beta was 122.
My second beta on Saturday was 217.
I was praying like a zealot Friday night while I lay in bed (after bursting into great big sobs and smearing mascara all over Mr. DD’s shirt earlier in the night before because I was scared witless…) and just asked for 244. I didn’t think that was asking for too much. I lay on my back with my hands intertwined over my abdomen and let the tears track from my eyes to my ears while I chanted, “244, 244, 244, 244, …”
Should I even bother to mention how when I called the lab for my results, the phone cut out at the very moment he told me the level and I heard him just say “17”? I almost passed out with grief, but was able to repeat it back to him, which is when he corrected me, “No, 217.”
It was about 40 minutes later when the clinic called. My estrogen and progesterone levels look good (bully for them), and even though my beta didn’t “quite” double, Dr. Samelastnameasme isn’t concerned. Instead I must have a third beta on Friday.
I guess it was too much to ask to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws while Nutbag’s daughter, Unibrow gestates Baby #2 (another girl, too) and not feel as if my insides were shriveling up and my heart was breaking all over again.
What I wouldn’t give to be able to go back in time six-plus years ago to remember how easy it was to see the positive pregnancy test and schedule my ultrasound six weeks later. Why is this so easy for so many others?
Why couldn’t I have had “perfect” instead of “adequate”, just this once? I know I’m lucky to even be pregnant, but shit, I just want to be able to breathe again.
********************
Sorry I left you hanging. Our computer was not playing nice.
Punch Drunk 
I missed this post, sorry, crap I wondered why the post changed titles? Am so duhhh.
As far as the doubling levels go, don’t worry, at this stage of pregnancy, 48 hours isn’t firm, 72 can work as well.
Take care, and hang on to rollercoaster!
Mine went up a bit less than that…
Later, and higher nos, but a smaller %…
Fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Adequate isn’t bad though. Sometimes even nowhere the f*ck near adequate is fine, speaking from personal experience.
it’s just not reasonable to expect you to cope with this news all through a family holiday. I am sorry. but I am also hopeful that this is just a small blip, no biggie. Although I know it doesn’t feel that way.
For those of us with a miscarriage “habit” (“I can’t quit you, miscarriage”), adequate is not very satisfying. Nothing short of “these are clearly the BEST F*CKING HCG numbers I have every seen, ma’am” would make me feel better.
But adequate is not bad. And not bad is good. So things are good.
Hoping that adequate is enough.
I have a one year old that started at “adequate”. 70% doubling in 48’s hours. My RE’s office was pleased with the numbers. I thought it was doomed.
You’ve got a lot of people pulling for you and hoping for the best. I’ll continue to hope for good numbers on the next beta.
Come over here where we don’t do Thanksgiving at all.
I agree with millie and you are just being hormonally challenged right now. You know I mean that in a good way 😉
Hang in there, prayers are still being sent your way.
I admit I don’t know anything about anything, but it sounds like ‘average’ is not a bad thing in this case. Fingers crossed for Friday’s numbers. Hang in there, DD.
You really are an analyst, aren’t you???
Everyone has said it all. Although you already know how I feel. I have confidence in this, but I hate that you have to wait so long for any reassurance. When asked why infertility is so stressful just send people here – if they don’t get it then smack them.
How ’bout you come up here for Thursday’s festivities??/ Yeah, yeah, I know you were here not long ago and I owe you a trip before you come back, but my family is interestingly entertaining and M.’s, well they have good food and excellent conversation. Seriously though, I do want to come down your way.
I am going to Austria this weekend- want to come with me?! 😉 The plan is to escape reality and drink mulled wine at the Christmas market there. Going to Thanksgiving dinner with the ILs sounds like a total nightmare. I just realised that going away means I will miss the results on Friday. Will be thinking of you though.
Adequate can be very frustrating. Not quite “good enough”, but not quite bad either. Bleh. Here’s to mediocrity, and hoping it takes you calmly through 40 weeks of ordinary, normal, routine gestation.
(Routine gestation sounds like a fable, doesn’t it? Sort of like big foot. But he’s not average, so there.)
Thinking of you.
Huzzah for normal! Boo hisssss for having to wait until Friday for more information. Boo hiss for in-laws.
DD, my heart palpitated a little when I didn’t see a post on Saturday. Ok- adequate, but your values are still high which is good. If we all muster our good vibes, the next draw should be off the charts. That’s my plan for you. (hug)
Listen to the others- they have some good advice about the doubling time (I have also heard that 66% is good, so 78% is pretty damn good) and about getint another beta.
One step at a time. Beta is still rising, which means for the moment you are still PUPO.
FIngers crossed and hoping that Friday’s draw gives you a smidge more comfort.
xxxx
Hoping that adequate is, well, adequate.
DD, to me adequate sounds good. Average is beautiful. An average pregnancy, that’s something to shoot for, don’t you think? And based on my last personal (shitty) experience, betas that double too fast aren’t a great thing either. The middle field sounds just right.
hoping the best for you.
I vote for average, as long as you get a healthy baby at the end of the journey. Wishing they could see you sooner, but I sure do admire your attitude about waiting!
Look, G was not even ‘adequate’… and he’s hanging over my shoulder right now. (he thinks the picture at the top of your page is cool, btw) .. having given that piece of assvice (is it assvice when it’s presented as an “it can happen” story? somehow, i think it is) .. anyhow, now that the assvice is out of the way.. I know there’s nothing I can say that will make you less scared, or more calm, but I still wish I had the words to help.
I’ll be waiting til Friday, where I hope you will be too busy celebrating perfect numbers to update.
*(And #%^&@ why couldn’t they see you like tomorrow?? Or wednesday??)
(((thinking of you)))
You know, Atlanta is a much friendlier place for Thanksgiving. I can promise there are no humans gestating here. I can’t make that promise about the fish… Anyway, there will be plenty of turkey if you want to hop a plane south with XBoy and Mr DD.
I know that everyone else has said that it’s actually 2-3 days, and that you know that, and blah blah blah. But I’m still hopeful for you and it does sound like it’s still OK. I can understand that desperate desire to have “perfect” just this once, and I’m hoping that’s exactly what you hear after the next beta.
Give Thanks. That is all I have to say. Best of luck on Friday. I hope you are too nauseous to eat on Thursday.
Still Smiling!! :o)
Holding my breath with you, DD. Adequate is probably okay, but I understand that you’dve preferred stellar.
BTW, do I detect values at the high end of the singleton range???
J
I don’t know if it will be easy for me a second time. It doesn’t feel like it was easy the first time, but once we quit half-assing it, I guess it didn’t actually take too long. Reading your blog has made me much grateful for being able to conceive the first time and much more aware that it doesn’t guarantee a second time. I am torn between starting try again soon (like right now) and waiting until the timing is better for our bank accounts. I don’t even know if I want to get pregnant again. I guess I first need to decide if we want to go the natural route again or if we want to adopt next.
Also, good luck 🙂 Fingers crossed.
I’m definitely not an expert on the numbers game but I’m thinking every increase is a good sign. As for the inlaws et. al., good luck with that. I think this Turkey Day what I’ll be the most thankful for is not having to spend it with mine!!!!
I agree 10000% with Millie…with Max, my first was 200 something, then 400 soething, then only 600. The nurse even apologized on the phone, telling me how sorry she was. Garden State said 66% is good to go and double in 3 days, not 2. Hang in there, even though I know its so hard.
Friday?!? How can they be so cruel?
But honestly, adequate is pretty darn good. I know it doesn’t put your mind at rest. Hope you can hang in there until Friday without going bat shit crazy with the waiting.
Oh man that wait will not be fun.
Ya know, Iowa isn’t that far…come to my house, I’ll skip the festivities at GMIL’s (where she refuses to let anyone else cook or cater in but won’t cook turkey OR ham) I swear, if she has a Stouffer’s lasagna again…….
FRIDAY?? They really musn’t be worried, or they would have you in every other day to check the ‘doubling’. Yes, millie is right. It is only supposed to go up 66% every 2 days. We think the waiting will be over after the 2ww, but really it is only beginning. Here’s to a lot more waiting.
Karen
I remember my first IVF and trying to get a 3rd beta (after a very, very crappy 2nd) sooner, just to confirm that the numbers were falling. It was an absolute no-go with my clinic.
I thought about telling the clinic I’m traveling over the weekend to see if I could bump up the 3rd beta, but really what’s the point? Am i going to stress any less over the weekend? Hell, no. Especially since after the third beta, it’s the much anticipated u/s and most of us remember the fiasco with Wolf (empty sac)…
Jennifer is right. I’m an overachiever or I never would have went past IUI#2 back in 2006. I think most of us have it in us to be overachievers.
Everyone has said it so well. You are in the high range for your DPO. Labs famously have variability. You do fall within acceptable range. Your doctor is not concerned.
I know, I know. None of that means sh*t until you get some more results. So call on Monday. Make it happen. Then have a lovely Thanksgiving (with out the in-laws if needed!).
Thinking of you girl.
I know we overachievers hate to see that word adequate, but remember even the C average students graduated from high school. My HCG level didn’t double either. Yeah, I did have a couple of extra “factors” involved. But hey if 3 babies can’t double a BETA, isn’t it asking a lot for a singleton?
I like the idea of getting 3rd BETA earlier. I also like the idea of a mysterious “illness” keeping you away from the in-laws, but I always like skipping anything with my in-laws.
Hang in there. Sending you good thoughts.
Dear DD, I’ve been worried about you, so adequate sounds good to me. I wish you could have been given a whole boatload of reassurance with room to spare, but this is not bad at all. And remember, embryos are horrible at math. Horrible.
Hang in there, cookie, and breathe.
You’re still registering as “high” hcg levels for days post ovulation so just hang in there, okay?
DInoD
I think that technically you just need a 66% increase in 2 days to be considered adequate (and a doubling n 3 days). So a 78% increase is kicking ass.
That whole doubling thing in 2 days is only because most people aren’t good enough at math to figure out what you really need to see.
So breathe.
Truly, if you worked in a lab and saw the variance from one run to the next… It is tough not to lake the numbers literally, but you shouldn’t. I suspect adequate is just fine.
Christine has a good idea… Any chance you could get another beta on Monday? Or even Wed… anything to spare yourself from having to wait til Friday. That just seems too damn long.
Being the first to comment I guess I wasn’t far off when I told you I would be stalking. Honestly I think you will be absolutely fine. Is there any way you could get another beta before Thursday to set you mind a little more at ease? Funny that I just had a conversation with BigD about S2 being “average” and somehow BigD doesn’t think that is good enough. I say yippee for all of us adequate and average people! Keep us posted…we are thinking about you:)